Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Ask the Amateur: Pop Art Bedroom!

Sean asks: "I was wondering if you had any suggestions on curtains and a good rug for my bedroom. Anything mid-century modern would be good, or anything that would work with that era. I have a mid-century dresser painted red, a platform bed, a Roy Lichtenstein triptych, and hardwood floors. The room is painted in Olympic's Teeny Bikini blue with gray trim. 

The Amateur says: Sean, you need to play up the Lichtenstein Pop Art goodness! Add bright yellow accents, a bold large-scale print on the floor, and choose solid white floor-length panels for the windows to give the eye a place to rest.

Background Color: Olympic Teeny Bikini blue
Rug: Roundabout Rug by CB2. $299.
Curtain: Marimekko Frekvenssi panel from Crate & Barrel. $49.95.
Lamps: Vintage. Spray-paint your own lamps!
Pillow Cover: Homegrown Pillows at Etsy. $11.95. 

Sean says: "But I had a hankering for patterned curtains."
The Amateur says: "Oh. Then... this!"

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Le Poisson @ NeldaZee

Le Poisson Hair Accessory @ NeldaZee
You DO want a feathered fish in your hair, right?

Pippa Middleton, public scrutiny, and free will

"Hey Pippa?"

"Yes, Kate?"

"Would you mind if I thrust you into the public spotlight, put your arse on display to more than a billion people, and caused you to be the subject of intense media scrutiny? And after all that, whatever you do, I will always overshadow you?"


"Okay, great! Put on this frock, sweetie." 

Sometimes I wonder why Pippa Middleton hasn't yet killed the Duchess of Hogwartshire, or whatever.

Making one's sister wear this dress in front of the entire world seems cruel. Yes, Pippa Middleton pulled it off beautifully, but working out and dieting to prepare for this event must have been a full-time job. When my sister was married, she kindly chose bridesmaid dresses that allowed us to eat piles of cake and still look fantastic. I feel sorry for Pippa.

"But now she is famous. She is going to become rich off of event appearances." But perhaps Pippa Middleton never wanted this sort of scrutiny. As I am aware, she was not courting fame before her sister became a public figure. Not everyone wants to be examined by the public, or to have an Arse Appreciation Society dedicated to them on Facebook. In addition, Pippa Middleton's current celebrity--and opportunity to make gobs of money by appearing at Events--hinges on the full-time maintenance of her physical appearance. Pippa Middleton is now one of those women who is professionally good-looking. I hope this is the sort of life she would have chosen for herself.

Assuming Pippa Middleton aspired to celebrity, would being thrown into the spotlight, in a situation outside her control, compare to the satisfaction of becoming famous on her own merit? The accomplished feeling one has when one works toward a goal and finally reaches it is much different from the feeling one gets when one is told, "This is going to happen to you, whether or not you like it." I imagine that Pippa Middleton's life is a runaway train, and once Kate made her choices, Pippa had little agency.

Oh, but who cares, right? I mean, she looks fantastic in that Alexander McQueen.

Monday, July 18, 2011

I used to do background checks for a living.

I kept a list of the best names I came across in court documents and résumés. 

Favorite Names:
1. Dick Woody
2. Marvel Outlaw
3. Kenneth Dolt
4. Dr. Superfine
5. In Sun Bang
6. Rugs Krapt
7. Gidget Lovingood
8. Charlotte Webb 

Best Job Titles:
1. Director of Fresh Beef Receiving
2. Vice President of Infection Discovery 

Best Street Name:
Skunk's Misery Road