Some people don't want to get married. Others are putting it off for practical or financial reasons. And some people want to get married, and being asked, "When's the wedding?" makes them sad and reminds them that it isn't happening yet. Whatever the reason, there's a good chance that if you haven't been told, it's not your business. Just don't ask!
The first time, it wasn't so bad. But the second time, I was like, Again?! I would love to be engaged, so PLEASE don't remind me that I'm not. I am already QUITE AWARE, thankyouverymuch!!! It was really stupid, because until they asked, I felt good about our relationship. We've talked about getting married. Basically, Keith told me that he intends to marry me, and I said, "Yay, me too!" and added Green Wedding Shoes to my feed. It's a happy, exciting time. But outside pressure takes the fun out of it!
Keith had a college friend who wanted her life to run on a strict, arbitrary timetable: Finish college at 23, get married at 24, have first baby at 26, etc. She was so obsessed with staying on schedule, she actually booked her wedding venue before her boyfriend proposed. I'm not making this up. Crazy, right? After she put down the deposit, she spent months working herself into a frenzy while she waited for him to propose. When the proposal came, it was completely anticlimactic: "FINALLY! Okay, whatever."
Relationships shouldn't run on schedules, and these well-meaning questions upset me because of the implied pressure. When you ask the guy who can't get ahead at work whether he's had a promotion, or you ask the woman struggling with infertility when she plans to start a family, you're implying that you think they should have babies or a better job. Why don't they? What's wrong with them?! This is the same.