Thursday, August 22, 2013

What They Don't Tell You About Wedding Planning

Image Credit - The Free Wedding
1. It's like having a second job. 
You meet with each vendor at least twice. You do an initial meet-and-greet and interview, and then you do follow-up meetings to finalize the contract and payment, discuss details, show the vendor the site if you're using an atypical or private location, etc. Scheduling all this stuff around work is a huge pain in the ass. Because oh yeah, you still have to go to work and do all the stuff you did before you were engaged! Plus, you spend TONS of time assembling invitations, diy-ing decorations and favors, and shopping for crafty supplies. The time that used to be your free time is now your wedding planning time.

2. It kills your social life.
Before the engagement, you would've had cocktails after work with friends. Now you're spending that time meeting with the photographer, or registering at Bed Bath and Beyond, or Googling makeup artists and rehearsal dinner venues you can actually afford. You're afraid you might not see your friends again until the wedding.

3. It's a conversation killer.
When I actually do see my friends, I have nothing interesting to tell them except, "I did more wedding stuff." YAWN. I try not to go on and on about the wedding because a) I want them to be at least a little bit surprised by what they see on the big day, and b) They probably don't give a damn about the table runners we're using at the reception, and c) No one likes that chick who talks about nothing but her wedding.

4. It's weirdly, stupidly emotional.
Even if you're normally the type of woman who does her own thing, haters be damned, you CARE if people don't like your wedding plans. It UPSETS you. You suddenly want to please everyone, and it's exhausting. And also impossible. Worse, each detail suddenly seems to MATTER way more than it really does. Logically, you know that the font on your invitations doesn't "say" something about you as a couple. But this is a once in a lifetime event, and you don't get any do-overs, so you obsess. This is why women cry when they're planning weddings.

5. Family suddenly becomes much more important.
This the most surprising thing I've learned about wedding planning: You start spending more of your (almost nonexistent) free time with family, and you look forward to it. Building a relationship with your future in-laws becomes more important, and the sobering, joyful reality hits you: You and your fiance are becoming a family! You find yourself wanting to dote on him and take care of him more than you did before.

One of our most rock and roll friends told us he never imagined that he would marry, but he and his wife eventually tied the knot for legal reasons. He didn't expect it to change them as a couple, but it did--and he loves it. He says that the permanence of their relationship makes them even more supportive of each other, and it's strengthened their bonds with their families. I feel us moving in a similar direction, and I didn't expect it, either. But oh, I like it.

And that's why it's all worth it.


  1. Yup, totally been there girl. If I ever get married again, I'm going to do it WAY smaller and might even just do the courthouse or elope. Wedding planning is simultaneously thrilling and soul-sucking.

    But just so you know, I'm a rockstar at assembling invitations, favors, you name it. So if you want to hang out with someone who doesn't mind talking about wedding stuff and can help with some DIY, I'll do it for the price of a Starbucks refresher and some girl time. :)

    1. I'm sort of known as a real-life "27 Dresses" now... I even own a hoop skirt from a themed wedding.

    2. A hoop skirt, WHAT?! I'd LOVE to see pictures from that wedding!

      I don't think I'll regret all the work and time spent planning. I'd probably regret it more if I ran off to the courthouse and didn't do it up all fancy and have all the people I love there to celebrate. But it's so... consuming. The worst part about wedding planning is that I miss having time to see my friends!

      Most of the stuff is assembled, but I'll be SO HAPPY to see you on Saturday and blab about wedding stuff to someone who doesn't mind. :D

  2. I actually enjoy talking wedding stuff too. Feel free to go on about it all this weekend.

    1. Yes ma'am! I'm so looking forward to Saturday. :D

  3. Strangely good to hear that. I just got engaged (yesterday!! still in shock) so it's good to read the other side of things too so I'm mentally prepared (and still oh so excited!) Looking forward to hearing more about your plans :)

    (PS: I'm nominating you for a Liebster Award! Check back on my blog tomorrow for details.)


    1. Ahhhh, you"re engaged!! Congratulations! Please post about it, and how he proposed?

    2. I'll be sharing it shortly! Once the initial elation wears off and I'm back to my regular self :) In the meantime I'll be looking through all your wedding tips...

      Also, here's my nomination for your Liebster Award!

  4. Love to hear news about weddings :D it takes my mind out of work...

  5. i like this blog very much and i bookmark this page. please publish more information about handmade paper products

  6. Refreshing to hear and very true! I'm not a huge fan of the planning process and yet it still seems to drain all my time!


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