I recently made a life-changing
decision: I consciously chose to leave the workforce. Yes, I did it on purpose.
And no, I don’t have another job lined up right now. It might not be a permanent change, but for now I’m going to to prepare our house for sale, manage the move, get us settled into a new house, and then reassess the situation. And right now, I love it.

It's time for some real talk about women, work, and how we define ourselves, y'all.
The most uncomfortable thing
about leaving my job was my fear of what other people would think. Like it or not, we’re defined by our work. When you meet someone new, the first thing they ask is “What
do you do?” If I wasn’t working outside the home, would they assume I’m stupid?
Would they think I’m a sad, repressed person who has no life? Would
they think I’m lazing in my nightgown eating chocolates all day? I was honestly afraid of this.I’m literally
the only childless stay-at-home person in my friend group, so I
don’t have a personal frame of reference.
But I decided not to live in fear
of other people’s opinions.
And this choice makes sense for us
for so many reasons.
The first reason is that my job
wasn’t working for me anymore. My position at the library had snowballed into
three times the job I was originally hired to do, but without a corresponding
pay raise or an extension of my hours. It was nearly impossible to do all my
work in the allotted time. I was always anxious and snappish when I was at work, and I
came home brittle and angry. To add insult to injury, my paychecks were
painfully small.
The second reason, believe it or
not, was money. When we took a hard look at the numbers, we saw that I could add
more value to our net worth by quitting my low-paying job and spending the next
few months repainting, doing home repairs, and staging our condo so we get a better price when we sell it.
Mind blown, amirite?! It’s crazy to think that
you can add more value to your household by NOT working outside the home. But if your paycheck is low enough, it might be true. I keep finding little examples of this. Like yesterday, when I groomed our
dogs and realized that we used to spend more money on dog grooming than I earned in a day. Cha-ching! Not working outside the home is paying off.
The third reason is warm, fuzzy,
and impossible to quantify but infinitely valuable: Quality time. When we were
both working, my husband came home from work and said Hi, then went in opposite
directions to do chores and run errands. We usually didn't eat dinner until 10:00, and we usually ate crap food from a box. Real food? Ain't nobody got time for that!
But now when he comes home, everything is already in order, so we can spend more time together. We eat dinner at dinnertime. Evenings are *gasp* spent relaxing. And best of all, WE’RE
NOT EATING CRAP FOOD OUT OF BOXES ANYMORE. I can’t begin to tell you how happy
that makes me.
Before I left the library, we considered all the options. One of those options, of course, was to hire someone else to help around the house. It would've taken the pressure off of us at the end of the day, but it didn't address Problem #1. It hardly seemed prudent to work at a job that made me sad so I could pay someone to do the things that make me happy.
Because here's the crazy thing: I actually enjoy cooking and cleaning and general domesticity. That shouldn't be a surprise, since a significant portion of my blog is dedicated to home decor. I'm more Martha Stewart than Marissa Mayer, and I'm okay with that. Furthermore, I'm lucky to be married to a dude who enthusiastically appreciates what I do at home, and his gratitude makes me glow. I don't feel like a downtrodden domestic drudge; I feel valuable and appreciated. Maybe it's just an extension of newlywed bliss, but right now my passion is making our house a happy home.
Not everyone shares that passion, and I know my passion raises some eyebrows. I was especially aware
of that two weeks ago, when a friend asked me if her journalist buddy could
interview me. Why? Because she’s writing an article for Cosmo about women who embrace the Lean In movement, and women who have chosen “an
alternative to the movement.” At first I just laughed. I didn't realize that
being a housewife is so radical these days! But I was game for it, and I
enjoyed our phone interview. She kept repeating one thing I said that seemed to resonate deeply with her: “It seemed foolish to work a
job that made me unhappy so I could pay someone else to do work I love.”
I suppose that line sums up my experience right now: Right now I'm doing what I love, and it makes me happy.